Mixed feelings.

Mixed feelings- thats exactly what Im feeling right now.

Netball, this seven words are taking a toll on me. This is the only sport that keep me going over the years even though quitting has crossed my mind several times but I have never once mean it. However, every now and then I fall apart for the same old issue & I desperately need to stop facing all these shits.

I can understand why Corrine gets to play but whats the reason of putting CT girls when Kryp team has more than enough people!? It doesn't make any sense yea. At that moment, I just wanna bury my face into ground I feel so ashamed of myself when I wasn't the one to represent the team. I have teammates telling me coach might have forgotten about me. Oh c'moPost Optionsn I doubt this is the reason. I play netball because I love playing, its the passion you see. But you know passion doesn't get you any further if you are not given a chance to perform your best... Tell me how am I supposed to put on my best when Im not even getting a s.i.n.g.l.e. chance. I swear this is the worst feeling ever.

Praises and teammates are the one that keeps me going knowing that this won't last long.. Im holding back my tears while typing this post. I kept on telling myself not to shed a single tears, not a single one. Please, Im not asking for sympathy. I guess Im going to cuddle on bed and let wild thoughts run through my mind.

One last thing, I would like to express my gratitude for someone in our team who keeps encouraging me along the way, sending me inspiration messages & always taking care every single person in the team. Thank you, Siyun♥. Im really grateful to have you as a teammate and friend. I can't be any thankful towards you. Tons of blessings for you Siyun:)

Not forgetting our beloved kryp's teammates, Kelroy & Rachel. Please come back to training. The both of you are not forgotten!!

For now I just wish that coach would start making sense cause Im confused. I have no idea what you want.